You know how people get all into the various holidays – themed sweaters, decorated houses, wreaths on the car, fun foods to match the occasion? I lack the gene that enables people to immerse themselves in the holidays like that. Likewise, I’ve never been able to muster any school spirit or get all crazy with enthusiasm for a sports team.
Every now and then, this works in my favor. When we went to see my son at college and watch him on the field with the marching band during halftime, he later told me he looked up and could pick me out of the crowd of thousands. Why? Because in a sea of NC State University red, I was wearing a turquoise sweater.
But, today is Halloween. If you are a grown woman, not employed as a preschool teacher, and you are wearing a sweater adorned with jack-o-lanterns, you should know that I will secretly roll my eyes at you today (my apologies – I know I shouldn’t judge). I will also secretly roll my eyes at you during the Christmas season if you are wearing a sweater with dancing snowmen, Christmas trees, snowflakes, or similar decorations. Again, my apologies.
We do have one lonely pumpkin sitting on our front porch, but as is usually the case, it has not been carved or painted and it still retains every one of its seeds. I briefly considered what sort of costume I could dream up if a sudden urge to trick-or-treat overcame me. Usually, I have a great imagination, but the only two pathetic ideas I came up were: June Cleaver – A-line skirt, sweater set, pumps, pearls, apron. Aside from the fact that I don’t own an A-line skirt or an apron, I feel sure that I couldn’t pull off the sunny disposition, so I had to reject June. My other idea is much more practical: a raccoon – gray sweatpants and sweatshirt, no under-eye concealer. Done.