WordPress kindly sent me a summary of my 2011 blogging achievements and my first reaction was, “What’s wrong with you people?!” Sure, I’m happy I have readers and subscribers and grateful that I’ve made blogging friends who care enough to leave comments on my blog, but that does not outweigh the disturbing fact that most people found their way to my blog by searching the following terms (or some version thereof): Ronald McDonald, Snooki and the Sisyphus Corporation.
I take responsibility for exercising poor judgment in mentioning Ronald and Snooki on more than one occasion, but why are you all so interested in them? For goodness sake, Ronald is a mascot – he’s fictional! And Snooki? Well, she’s arguably fictional as well.
As for the Sisyphus Corporation, while the myth of Sisyphus is fairly well-known (he’s the guy who must spend eternity pushing a boulder up a steep hill, only to have it roll back down and have to start the process all over again), the Sisyphus Corporation does not exist in fact or myth. I MADE IT UP! I know the economy stinks, but were you seriously hoping to apply for a job opening at an imaginary company?
I smell desperation and it’s not pretty. What do you say we drag at least one foot out of the muck for 2012? I hereby vow not to falsely raise hopes for those who are job-hunting by sarcastically making up fake job openings at non-existent companies. I also pledge that after this post, I will not mention Snooki or Ronald McDonald in my blog for the rest of the year, no matter how blog-worthy their behavior may become (I’m already regretting this one).
And you? The next time you have the urge to type something like “Kardashian” in your google search bar, take a deep breath and type “Mother Teresa” instead. Just do it, it’s good for you.