Companies are in business to make money and that often means creating products that solve common problems. I’m cool with that.
On the other hand, I couldn’t help noticing certain themes while flipping through the pile of coupon inserts in the Sunday paper, themes I’m not so cool with.
Theme #1: We have bladder control issues. On one page, Kirstie Allie is pushing Poise light bladder leakage pads. Take it from the Poise Fairy, period pads are for your period. Flip the page and there’s actress Lisa Rinna looking sexy in a curve-hugging black dress despite the fact that she’s wearing Depends adult diapers underneath (no word on whether or not she shimmied her diapered self into a pair of Spanx before putting on the dress).
Theme #2: We have a multitude of health problems. Heartburn? Save $3 on Pepcid! Allergies? Save $4 on Zyrtec! Itchy red eyes? Save $2 on Visine! Painful gas? Save $1 on Gas-X! Painful Feet? Save 50% on Therapeutic Cozy Toes – good for bunions hammer toes, toe cramps, plantar fasciitis and more! Arthritis pain? Save $2 while you put your pain to sleep with Pain Bust RII!
Theme #3: We must never ever succumb to reality by looking our age. Color your hair for 8 weeks of luminous shine and fade-defiance; slather on Age Perfect Hydra-Nutrition for firmer, more supple and resilient skin; don’t forget Revitalift Anti-Wrinkle + Firming with stimuplex technology, followed by Visible Lift foundation and concealer for 5, yes 5, anti-aging benefits. But wait! How about saving $5 on DermaSilk 5 Minute Face Lift which exhorts us all to STOP LOOKING YOUR AGE (undoubtedly a deadly sin that will send you straight to hell)?
Theme #4: We exist on a diet of total crap. Want to save money at the grocery store this week? Clip coupons for Chips Ahoy cookies, Nutri-Grain Cereal Bars (don’t assume “nutri” equates to nutritious), ice cream, Ball Park franks (you don’t want to know what’s in hot dogs – trust me on this), candy, frozen Chinese food, and Grande tortilla chips.
Admittedly I ripped out a few coupons (I’m too lazy to cut them out neatly with a scissors and usually forget to bring them to the store) – I color my hair, pop antihistamines during pollen season, and sometimes eat stuff for reasons that have nothing to do with nutrition. Still, I refuse to believe I’m as pathetic as the coupon inserts suggest.
Here’s an idea. Instead of saving a little bit of money by using those coupons when buying those products, let’s save a lot of money by not buying the products at all! Who’s with me?
Woohoo! I agree completely though I probably will buy the Poise pads if and when I need them. Apparently 1 in 3 women suffer from bladder leakage and the stats are even higher amongst those of us who are over 40 and who have given birth.
Well, yeah. On the other hand, I’m skeptical of statistics, so chances are, most of us will be just fine.
Woo-hoo another shopper (and yes, I do shop) who doesn’t buy anything attached to a coupon. But then I sniff…because, it’s a conspiracy to not offer me any % off on anything I buy..sniff, boo-hoo. They tease me with their promising pieces of paper that upon closer look don’t interest me.
I wish there were coupons for fresh fruit and other real stuff. It is a conspiracy to keep everyone so unhealthy that they need (or think they need) to buy all sorts of products just to get through the day.
All the ads for products make you wonder how the olde timers managed in the odle days? Great post
Thank you : ) So true – how did Grandma manage to make it through the day without the 5 Minute Face Lift in a bottle?
I’m with you except on the Gax-X. An amazing product that works exactly as specified.
There’s always an exception. Good to know that particular products works as promised!
I’m with you too. Since I never remember to bring coupons with me to the store, I have stopped even looking at all those inserts. I knew I enjoyed junk food and take stuff for stuffy nose when–duh!–my nose is stuffy But all that other stuff I was did not really even know I should be worrying about. Thanks for the post!
Definitely better to decide for yourself what’s worth worrying about. Right now, I have no need to worry about what bladder protection product I need to wear under a tight dress at a red carpet event ; )
I don’t spend much money on meds (but I think I am just lucky). And I don’t need Depends yet or (very much) junk food. But don’t take away my anti-aging beauty products!
I’d never take away anything, but the “anti-aging” mindset makes me crazy. We’re supposed to get older!
I’m with you, especially since most of the coupons are for products that are part of the Standard American Diet.which I choose not to follow. The acronym for this diet is S A D! Actually, by not following the SAD diet, you could very well help your body and avoid health issues that need those other coupons! Oh, one more thing…happy to say I am 67 and no need for Poise…so much for statistics.
Agree with you 1,000 percent! I think it amounts to: eat crap = look & feel like crap. Congratulations on your non-leaking bladder : )
I too clip the coupons and never remember to bring them. I spend time monthly pitching expired coupons. It is those crazy “extreme” coupon shows that have women with a whole store in their basement and the store actually pays them to take their stuff that make me feel I have to even try. The rules must be different here in Canada though as I have never heard of being able to do any of this extreme stuff here.
I think those extreme couponers are just obsessive compulsive organized hoarders & I’ve never seen one in real life. Shouldn’t they leave some stuff on the shelves for other people??
They make a big deal out of how much stuff they donate to the needy because they can’t possibly use it all.
I’m all for donating to good causes, but extreme couponing still seems like an usual way to spend your time and energy, doesn’t it?
Agreed!
I think you hit the nail right on the head – these women are obsessive compulsive organized hoarders.
Which, I suppose, is a step up from the disorganized hoarders who live in filth.
This is so true, and so funny (and pathetic). It seems the availability of coupons for a food is directly proportional to how processed it is. Raw veggies = no coupons. Fake food nutri-bars = coupons.
Right. What’s up with that??
Thank you! Someone finally said it! There are so many bladder control commercials out there it is getting ridiculous! First whoopie, now Kirstie- it’s like all the huge female comedy headliners of 80s movies are shilling pee pads! While Jamie lee Curtis won’t stop with the digestion problems fix all: yogurt. Women in advertising over 50 in the year 2012: pee pads and yogurt. Not good people. We are more than this!
Oh, I forgot about Whoopie! It was bad enough to see women like these on Dancing with the (Used to Be) Stars, but the “I Wet My Pants” commercials are too much. (I’m going to give Jamie Lee a break here, but only because I love her children’s books.)
Don’t get me wrong- I LOVE these women- LOVE. Their movies and TV shows are some of my all time faves. Cheers? Look Who’s Talking? Whoopie’s ENTIRE body of work? Come on people! These women are comedy legends. But I can’t believe that the picture of 50+ women in media these days in diapers and di di. While men in media over 50 are popping viagra!
If you need adult diapers, well, so be it, but whatever happened to self-respect? And please, don’t get me started on those stupid viagra ads!!
How about the K-Y Jelly ads – have you seen these? They tout their sexual aid with extra tingly stuff added, so the couple ends up looking exhausted but happy in a tangle of covers? You used to see them just late at night on Comedy channel or something racy, but I saw this ad the other night during a family-ish show on USA. For God’s sake – where is it going to end?
Oh yes, I’ve seen them. Maybe it’s time to turn back the clock to when Leaver it to Beaver was on and the commercials were for more benign things like Wonder Bread and cigarettes (“four out of five doctors smoke Camels!”).
Er, yeah. Way to inject a little reality in my trip down “life was better way back when” lane.
No problem.
yeah, the ads were WORSE back then. Have you gals seen these: http://neat-stuff-blog.blogspot.com/2010/05/vintage-cigarette-ads.html
Wow. Then again, what will people think of today’s ads 50 years from now? I’m not sure which is worse!
I wish you hadn’t mentioned the Chips Ahoy; now I’m hungry. I can abstain from the other products, but not the Chips Ahoy! Actually, I stopped buying them when I realized I could eat an entire bag in one sitting because I like them so much. Also, I just awarded you the “Just Kidding” award. No strings, you just enjoy the award. Here is the link to the award post if you are interested: http://workingmomadventures.com/2012/04/18/catching-up/
Nancy
http://www.workingmomadventures.com
Cookies are the junk food equivalent of nicotine, aren’t they? Thank you so much for the award, ESPECIALLY since it has no strings attached because, well, I’m lazy and I don’t want to provide 100 little known facts about myself or otherwise strain my synapses. Seriously, I appreciate the award and I’m glad I can make you chuckle now and then
I never see coupons for kale. [[sigh]] There, got that off my chest. Now I’m going back to read the rest of the comments. Thanks for this great post.
I’m convinced there are no coupons for “real” food. Sigh.