Bullshitia is a prescription medication for the treatment of symptoms of Hypochondragullability. Hypochondragullability is a serious medical condition. Symptoms include the strong belief that you have one or more health problems created and propagated by the marketing executives of Pharmaceutico and the willingness to take absolutely any medication your doctor may randomly prescribe for you.
Bullshitia is not for everyone. Patients who are pregnant, nursing, may become pregnant or who are the product of a pregnancy, should not use Bullshitia. Do not take Bullshitia if you have experienced an allergic reaction to Bullshitia in the past or if you are averse to adverse side effects. Call your doctor to find out if Bullshitia is right for you.
Bullshitia is safe and effective when taken as directed. Side effects have been reported and may include upset stomach, dizziness, flatulence, drowsiness, insomnia, rashes, unwanted hair, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, sensitivity to sunlight and total darkness, confusion, nervous tics, numbness of the extremities, heavy sweating, and hallucinations especially hallucinations involving a green butterfly fluttering around you as you sleep. These side effects are mild to moderate and may or may not decrease over time. If you experience any of these side effects, tough it out, you sissy. Do not stop taking Bullshitia unless directed to by your doctor because stopping Bullshitia may cause a precipitous drop in Pharmaceutico’s profit margins.
Serious side effects are rare because Bullshitia is safe and because when serious side effects are reported to Pharmaceutico, we take them seriously but pretend they were caused by something else. Rarely, if ever, do we report such side effects to the FDA, which rarely, if ever, takes any action even if we do. Stop taking Bullshitia immediately and call your doctor if you experience a sudden loss of consciousness or the cessation of all vital signs.
If you cannot afford Bullshitia, Pharmaceutico may be able to help. This generosity is made possible by the kindness of Pharmaceutico’s cold, soulless, corporate heart, and by charging obscenely inflated prices for Bullshitia to everyone else who takes it. We do this because we believe nobody, and we mean nobody, should have to go without Bullshitia.
Bullshitia should be taken with food and as many other Pharmaceutico medications as we can convince your doctor to prescribe for you. Do not operate a motor vehicle or heavy machinery or perform surgery until you know how Bullshitia affects you. Bullshitia is not known to be addictive, but severe withdrawal symptoms are likely if you dare to ever stop taking Bullshitia.
If you experience a worsening of the symptoms of Hypochondragullability while taking Bullshitia, contact your doctor as you may need a stronger dose of Bullshitia or may require additional Pharmaceutico medications.