Is there an auditory equivalent of doing a double-take? You know, you’re driving along and see something unusual by the side of the road, like a guy walking two llamas on leashes, so you whip your head around to confirm what you think you saw? (For the record, I have seen a guy walking two llamas on leashes in the parking lot of our local courthouse. I blogged about it a while ago, but I’m too lazy this morning to find the post and give you a link. Sorry.)
This morning I was driving along, listening to a talk radio program. I was enduring the usual commercials for Lasik surgery, bariatric surgery, a local plumbing company and a cosmetic surgeon who has not only “enhanced” some really famous, but unnamed, reality TV stars, but who also offers the latest and greatest advance in breast implants. These miracle implants are far more natural in touch and appearance than the typical implants, says the spokeswoman. They are, she says, “Gummy Bear Implants.”
That’s where the auditory double-take occurred, though I managed not to veer off the road despite the vivid and disturbing double-D image that the term “Gummy Bear Implants” evoked in my head. I try not to judge, at least not out loud, but I was already troubled by a culture that finds it desirable to surgically shove silicone filled balloons into women’s breasts. And now? To corrupt the innocent gummy bear with such a barbaric fate is simply more than I can handle, not to mention the difficulty those women are going to have finding bras that fit.
I’m seriously thinking about switching radio stations. Then again, I wouldn’t want to miss out on future llamas on leashes, you know?