Dude, Got Any Oreos?

Science fascinates me. Never mind that I could never make sense out of chemistry and physics, and that the mere mention of the periodic table causes flashbacks to my perpetually stoned high school chemistry teacher who made no sense. Science is cool.

I admit to being addicted to www.sciencedaily.com, which summarizes the latest in scientific research. It was where I learned about the study that tired people are perceived to look tired to others.

"What, no Double Stufs?"

“What, no Double Stufs?”

And now this … a new study has proven that Oreos are addictive. GASP! In fact, say researchers, Oreos activate significantly more neurons in the pleasure center of the brain than cocaine or morphine.   “Our research supports the theory that high-fat/ high-sugar foods stimulate the brain in the same way that drugs do,” said one researcher. “It may explain why some people can’t resist these foods despite the fact that they know they are bad for them.”

As further support for this theory, we need look no further than the mass hysteria caused by last year’s news that Twinkies were dead, though they have since been resurrected.  Statistics back this up as well, with 8.7 percent of the U.S. population abusing illicit drugs, compared to 79.2 percent who abuse Oreos.

This intriguing study revealed yet another startling fact. Using rats in a maze, researchers found that rats overwhelmingly preferred Oreos to rice cakes. I believe further research will find that this is because instead of lighting up the pleasure center of the brain, the rice cakes activate a little known portion of the brain called the why-am-I-eating-styrofoam lobe.

In case you were wondering, the study also found that rats prefer to open up their Oreos and eat the creamy filling first. Still unanswered, though, is whether the rats prefer their Oreos dry or dunked in a cold glass of milk. I’ll keep you posted.

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61 thoughts on “Dude, Got Any Oreos?

  1. Aw, such a cute rat! But I have to say it (and I’ll whisper this part)… I don’t like Oreos. Or any mass-produced cookie or snack cake. I know, I’m a freak. But I am capable of standing next to the cooling rack and wolfing down a dozen freshly-baked homemade chocolate chip cookies, so that’s gotta count for something…

  2. My favorite way to eat Oreos, is to crumble them into a bowl, pour milk over them, and eat them with a spoon, like breakfast cereal! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

  3. Thank you for this hard-hitting investigation. Now that I know that Oreos are as addictive as drugs, I think I’ll switch to Crack to lose weight.
    P.s. Where did you get that picture???

  4. I agree that Oreos are addictive, but I feel like they’re not as good as they used to be. I wonder if the recipe has been tinkered with over the years. Or has my palate become less like a rat’s? Hmm…

    • That’s an interesting point – I think the quality of food in general has declined in the past few decades, with all the nasty GMOs and artificial everything. Of course, I’m sure your palate has matured too :-D

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