When it comes to cars, I’m as boring as it gets. I just want a car that I’m comfortable driving, that’s reliable and safe. I dutifully take it in for scheduled maintenance and otherwise pay very little attention to it.
I prefer to take it to the dealership for service because I know the folks there have to answer to a higher power if customers are unhappy with the service, but also because the waiting area and the restroom are clean, unlike some of the quickie oil change places that rate highly on the ick scale of hygiene. Plus, there are usually relatively current magazines lying on the table, even if one of them is entitled Gardens & Guns (I did not make that up) and most of the others are golf-related.
Still, you can never tell who else will wander in to have his or her car serviced, no matter where you go. This morning, as I sat in the dealership’s service department waiting area, along with a decidedly geriatric crowd, watching an episode of Leave it to Beaver (because no one can figure out how to work the remote for the satellite TV), an old geezer guy came in – red face, rheumy eyes, tufts of hair bulging out of his ears. He said good morning to a guy sitting to the right, then looked at me, gestured to the chair beside me and said, “Good morning, beautiful. Mind if I sit here? I promise not to molest you.”
WHAT?! WHO THE F*** SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!
He took a seat and offered me a section of his newspaper. I declined. He turned to the obituaries and remarked that the oldest dead person listed was 103.
OMG, what is taking them so long to change the oil in my car? I’ve already watched a full episode of Leave it to Beaver and two thirds of an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show. Must escape…
As luck would have it, geezer guy couldn’t sit still for very long and left to wander around the dealership, no doubt spreading creepiness along the way. He may be a harmless old guy who thinks he’s amusing, but my instincts tell me he’s probably on some sex offender registry somewhere. Ick.